


Memoriam Dolorum

by Chrissss



Series: What Makes A Heart [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: "Maybe you should just leave Riku alone guys", Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Beta'd, DiZ exists and somehow broke into the Castle, Ephemer and Skuld didn't get there in time, For the Lulz, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I don't think that's the right card Vexen, I'm gonna ignore Riku until he becomes relevant, Implied/Referenced Suicide, It was fought by thousands of CHILDREN, KHUX [cross] still happened, Larxene isn't as big of a bitch, Leaxeus is just there, Marluxia is actually helpful, Marluxia is actually nice to Namine, Marluxia is just less of an asshole all around, Mostly canon until Chain of memories, Namine is a precious cinnamon roll that can destroy you, NoBoDIeS dON't hAVe hEArtS, Player!Sora, Player!Sora and Strelitzia were actually friends, Player!Sora just didn't get to see it, She likes to pretend she's chill, Significantly more Hurt than Comfort, Slow To Update, So many POV shifts, Sora can sense people's hearts, Sora is the reincarnation of the player character from KHX [chi], Sorry Not Sorry, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, The CO crew didn't sign up for this shit, Union Cross spoilers, Vexen is a (very) shitty Science Dad, Vexen is a prideful bitch and will fight you, What is Axel doing ever?, Zexion is the reason the card system exists, Zexion spent too much time with Xigbar and now we all suffer, before she got MURDERED, bitch you thought, can they resign?, everyone is ooc, for like a whole two weeks!, he didn't survive the keyblade war, he was bored and experimenting, i have no idea what i am doing, it get progressively less so, it was an accident guys!, it would be a very OP ability is it actually wanted to work right half the time, let's use them anyway!, more at 11, probably not the ones you're thinking of though, she also really likes picking fights with people, thanks a lot Zexion, the keyblade war was dark y'all, there are consequences to having someone else's heart inside your own for years, to varying degrees - Freeform, we both die like illiterates, what do you THINK happened in Hollow Bastion?, who knows - Freeform, will he ever get better?, you can't be as annoyed with me as much as I am annoyed with myself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2020-04-06 21:49:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19071361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrissss/pseuds/Chrissss
Summary: Sora looked at the card in his hand. It wasn't a place he recognized at all, but with a name like The Keyblade Graveyard, it obviously couldn't be good.It didn't explain why every part of him was screaming not to go in there though.(please, please not again)-------In which Sora is the reincarnation of the player character in KHX [chi] and this has consequences.





	1. Trepidatio

**Author's Note:**

> MMMMMMMM Hi. So here we are. This is the first fanfiction I've ever written with the intention of posting it so let's see how this goes. This was an idea I've had ever since KHIII came out, and, like a fool, I presented the idea to one of my best friends. Obviously, the first thing he did was ask me to write it. And since LITERALLY NO ONE has ever written something like this (that I am aware of if there is something similar to this that y'all know about let me know I wanna read it) I let him guilt-trip me into writing it myself. I have a very vague idea of how to get to the one scene that inspired this whole damn thing, and no plan after that. Hopefully, I figure it out before I actually get there.
> 
> EDIT 5/12/19: I went back and added some things, and changed some other things. It's better now in my opinion.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything by Disney or Square Enix. Especially Kingdom Hearts. I couldn't come up with half the shit Nomura pulls in these games if I tried.

**trĕpĭdātĭo,** ōnis, _f_ [trepido], _a state of confused hurry_ or _alarm,_ _agitation,_ _confusion,_ _consternation,_ _trepidation_

 

* * *

 

Sora knew something was wrong. Has known it since Kairi saved him from being a Heartless. It wasn’t immediately obvious, but it showed in the little things. How he got quieter and quieter, so different from his mile-a-minute chatter from Before. Goofy had asked about it, before the final battle with Ansem--

(Goofy stared at him, concern on his face. “Gwarsh Sora, you’ve been awfully quiet lately. Are you alright?”

“...just nervous” Sora pulled his mouth into a semblance of a smile that did little to disguise how tight he was gripping his ( ~~_ not his, where was  _ **_his_ ** ~~ ) keyblade.)

but eventually let it drop. In his fighting technique, while still a bit of a brawler style, it was much more refined, and could even be called graceful compared to what it had been like at the start of this adventure turned nightmare (every once in a while his keyblade would find itself in a reverse grip and he had to wonder why it felt just as natural as his usual style). A familiarity with the keyblade born from years of fighting with it instead of the few short months that it actually had been. In the new viciousness to his attacks when battling Ansem ( ~~_ why would he do that DIDHENOTKNOWWHATHAPPENED-- _ ~~ ). __ The way the mere mention of Kingdom Hearts made him shake like it never had Before.

In the way he looked at Kingdom Key and expected to see something different in his hand, gold where it should have been purple, a crown instead of a star ( ~~**_what happened to his keyblade_ ** ~~ **_)_ ** . The way images, memories that weren’t,  _ couldn’t be _ , his flashed before his eyes at the oddest times. When he would go to say something to someone, only to turn around and see no one there.

No. Something definitely wasn’t right. The nagging feeling of  _ wrongwrongwrong  _ crawled down his spine and settled in his bones and he  _ didn't know what was happening. _

And now here he was sitting in a field, desperately wanting to sleep but unable to because every time he did nightmares he could never remember upon waking up would play on a loop with nothing there to stop them ( ~~_ someone was supposed to stop them but they were GONE-- _ ~~ ), Donald and Goofy nearby having long since fallen asleep themselves. Jiminy was curled up in his spare jacket, also fast asleep, near the remains of their fire.

Sora sighed and looked up at the stars that blanketed the sky. “Maybe I should take a walk? There’s nothing better to do if I can’t sleep…” It seemed like a good idea. For all that had seemingly changed, he still wasn't able to sit still for long with nothing to do. He nodded to himself, “A walk it is.”

Getting up, mentally apologizing to Donald and Goofy for wandering off after promising to stay close - it was for a good cause! - , he started wandering down the path. There really wasn’t anything here. Grass, grass, and more grass. There weren’t even any trees! Just green and the dirt path that seemed to stretch for miles and miles leading to nowhere. Sora honestly wasn’t quite sure how they even got here, really. Still, there weren’t any Heartless here, not any they’d seen at any rate, so he didn’t have to be on guard all the time (a small voice in the back of his mind whispered how there weren’t just heartless to worry about and-- _stop,_ _he wasn’t going to think about it_ ).

So Sora kept walking and looking at the night sky. Idly, he wondered where Riku was for the nth time in as many hours. They’d already been looking for a while and there was nothing. No hint as to where he and the King were. Not even a whisper of a heart’s presence to follow. Riku’s had changed by the end of everything, but still somehow the same as ever (he felt like twilight now) and he didn’t even  _ know _ what the King felt like (he’d been a bit distracted), so he couldn’t follow that even if he tried. What if they were sick? What if they were hurt? What if they were  _ gonelikeEVERYONEELSE-- _

“Argh! This isn’t helping!” He went on this walk trying to  _ clear  _ his head dammit, not work himself up even more! Worrying about Riku and the King wouldn’t magically make them show up, no matter how much he wished it would. He kicked the ground, a sad frown twisting his lips. “What am I supposed to do?”

 

“Along the road ahead lies something you need.” A mysterious ( ~~_ familiar, why was it familiar? _ ~~ ) voice sounded in the darkness, and Sora had whirled around before he even finished his sentence, keyblade in hand.

“Who’s there?!” he shouted. He was ready to defend himself if necessary, but the stranger had vanished. What…? A soft noise from behind and he quickly turned back around to see the stranger had appeared behind him, a tall man in a black coat that swayed in a breeze that wasn’t actually there. For a brief moment, panic gripped his heart as memories of his fight in one of Hollow Bastion’s courtyards flashed through his mind. The man he had faced wore the same coat ( ~~_ though he wasn’t the first _ ~~ ). His voice had been distorted and his words had been cryptic ( _ looking back he had to wonder if the man had been right _ ), which made him terrifying to face even before he started giving Ansem a run for his money.  The worst part, by far, was that he had felt like cold  _ nothing _ . 

 

His hands were starting to ache from how tight he was gripping his keyblade, but before he could lose himself completely to the (frankly irrational) panic and probably do something stupid, the man’s aura actually registered, muted though it was, and he let himself relax, just a bit. This wasn’t the same person he fought before. 

 

( _ this man felt like a garden, a bit wilted, but slowly growing all the same _ ) 

His stance turned purely defensive, as opposed to the getting-ready-to-bash-some-skulls-in stance he had been in before, and got ready to ask what in the worlds he meant by “something he needed” when something registered to his senses and he promptly forgot coat guy was there at all.

 

_ Riku _ . Faint, kinda muddled and mist-like, but  _ there _ . Sora was vaguely aware that the man had started talking again, but he was too busy focusing on the fact that  _ Riku was here he was safe he could find him he’s close _ .

 

He only snapped out of it when coat guy just up and  _ disappeared _ , because  _ what _ . But whatever, he didn’t have time for this! He bolted up the road back in the direction they had set up camp in, whatever exhaustion he had finally been starting to feel quickly forgotten, and couldn’t stop the fragile  _ hope _ blooming in his chest if he tried.

“Riku! Riku’s here! Which means the King has to be here too!” They didn’t have time to sleep, not when their friends were suddenly so close. He finally made it back to where they were still snoozing away- how far had he gone?-  and did the only thing that came to mind.

“WAKE UP GUYS!”

“WAAAAHHHHH--!” Donald and Goofy shot up, weapons in hand. “Where’s the danger?!” “What happened Sora?!” Came their semi-alarmed cries. They scanned the surroundings, but when it became apparent that the only thing there was an antsy-looking Sora and a yawning Jiminy (who had slowly blinked awake like waking up to the sound of shouting was normal), the worry on Donald’s face swiftly got replaced with anger.

“What’s the big idea waking us up like that, huh?” he rounded on Sora and started brandishing his staff at him, ready to show him exactly how displeased he was with his wake up call, but Sora was already grabbing whatever wasn’t in their Merlin-enchanted pouches, scooping up Jiminy, and making his way back down the path.

“Sorry guys, no time for sleeping! There’s something down that way, I can feel it!” He conveniently didn’t mention his encounter with Mr. Black Coat. They didn’t need to know he had wandered so far away, they might just make him stop and explain and they had to go. He didn’t notice how neither of them protested the sudden need to move.

“Wait up Sora!” Goofy called from behind, after a quick glance with Donald, the duck hot on his heels.

“Wak! Wait for me ya big palookas!”

* * *

Sora, Donald, and Goofy ran and ran until grassy fields and clear skies slowly gave way to swirling clouds and a dark abyss cut through with a winding, floating path of pale, purple sand. As more of this strange landscape appeared, the slower they went, until they were going at what practically felt like a crawl. While it itched to finally be  _ this close  _ to finding their friends, only to be moving so slowly, he couldn’t deny the sense of foreboding the scenery caused. It was like the land was frozen, beckoning all who came to get lost in its depths. Sora shivered. Yeah, he could deal with walking slow. The whole place gave him the heebie-jeebies ( ~~ some part of him cried at how much his home had changed, the Land used to be so bright ~~ ) and you never knew what might pop out and try to kill you in a place like this.

Suddenly, Goofy pointed at something in the distance. “What’s that?” Sora squinted, trying to make it out. What the heck?

“It looks like…a castle?” Donald looked just as confused as Sora felt. From what he could see, it could tentatively be described as a castle, though nothing like what any of them had ever seen in their entire lives. It was tall and imposing, all dull gold and sharp edges dipped in turquoise that made it seem almost sinister, and had all the rising towers a castle usually had. Except half of those towers were rising in the wrong direction. Some were growing sideways out of the main body of the building, some were bent diagonally, there was even a section completely upside down. One part wasn’t even connected to the main building, for crying out loud, it just grew directly out of the ground at an angle, along with other, smaller offshoots.

Sora hadn’t even realized he had stopped walking until Donald and Goofy looked back at him in confusion. Oh, he did not want to go anywhere near that place. But…

“Gwarsh, are you okay Sora?” Goofy asked, standing there patiently waiting for him to answer, but how could he when he didn't even know what was wrong in the first place. Sora kept staring at the castle. “Is something the matter?”

“He’s probably just thinking about Riku again. Right Sora?” Donald tapped his foot impatiently, evidently wanting to get a move on.

“...yeah.” The castle called to him, in ways he couldn’t explain ( ~~ sadness, heartbreak, whywhyWHY ~~ ), didn’t think he wanted to be able to explain. And, well, Riku  _ was _ there. He could feel it, even if that misty muted feeling had stayed the same the whole time. And something else. Some _ one _ else was here. He couldn’t feel them, but he knew whoever they were they were here too. His face must have been showing some form of apprehension because Donald just huffed and stomped his foot.

“Oh, stop worrying, we’ll be fine!” He determinately marched on ahead, leaving Sora and Goofy scrambling to catch up. On they went, closer and closer until they reached the doors. Donald turned to Goofy. “This place really is strange looking.”

“It sure is,” Goofy replied, waving his arms around. “Are ya sure about this?”

“What else are we supposed to do?” Donald answered. Sora tried to pay attention to the rest of their conversation, really he did, but there was  _ something else  _ and he  _ didn’t know what. _ Something more than Riku and the mystery people. More than all the emotions this place made him feel for no reason. Sora gulped. He didn’t want to go in there, but he had to. For Riku ( ~~ his friends were here ~~ ). He walked closer.

“Sora?” Donald drew up next to him and looked up curiously.

“Let’s go,” was all Sora said. He looked forward again, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

* * *

Marluxia ambled through the corridors of the castle he had been given command over, taking care to stick to the paths he knew would lead him to where he wanted to go. The place really lived up to its name. One wrong step, one wrong turn, and it would be a miracle to find your way back out without the help of a Dark Corridor or a guide. It was the perfect place to put his plans into motion. He had known from the very beginning that something wasn’t right with the so-called Organization XIII. “Create Kingdom Hearts to get our hearts back,” his left foot. Of all the foolish things they could have possibly done, this had to be one of the stupidest ( _ he had lost too much the last time _ ). No, he had to do something about this, before he got dragged down with the rest of the poor souls who didn’t have any idea what they’d gotten themselves into. Even if that meant cutting his losses and leaving completely.

 

( _ And if he happened to remember who he was, before all this nonsense, in the castle that messed with your mind, well…) _

 

As he walked, he thought about the keyblade wielder he had left in the grassy plain. The panic on his face when he had seen his coat was a little odd, but he had relaxed pretty quickly. Maybe he had a bad run-in with one of the Organization? Someone would have mentioned it though… hmm. Well, at any rate, he hadn’t even been able to finish his little speech; the boy had gotten distracted with something enough that he seemed to forget Marluxia was still there. But he was still heading in the direction of the castle so he supposed it was fine. 

 

Eventually, he reached the double doors to the room that contained the linchpin to everything and walked in. The room was just as white as everything else in the damn castle, the only exception being the drawing covered papers littering the walls and floor. The center of the room was dominated by a large glass ball, ready to monitor Sora once he actually got here, and off to the side, sitting in a chair (the only other piece of furniture in the room) was a little girl drawing on a sketchpad. He shook his head, unsurprised at this point.

“You do have a room you know.” He couldn’t help adding some amusement to his voice, “I would think it is much more comfortable than a single chair in an empty room.” The girl jumped slightly at the sound of him and looked up sheepishly.

“I know, but I like this room!” She looked so earnest when she said it too. Marluxia huffed a laugh. Honestly, this girl. She was so similar to someone else he once knew ( _ long red hair, a white dress _ ) but could no longer quite remember, though not for a lack of trying. It was a good thing he hadn’t let anyone pick on her, even if Larxene had thrown a fit about it in the beginning. Soon, though, he let the false humor fall from his stance ( _ you can’t feel if you don’t have a heart, after all _ ) and seriousness settle on his shoulders and in his voice.

“The Keyblade Wielder has nearly arrived.-”

 

“Yes, I know.”

 

“Are you - wait what? How?” And there went his composure. The crystal ball wasn’t working yet. How did she know?! She looked sheepish again and rubbed the back of her head, a tick most likely picked up from watching the Keyblade wielder all the time.

 

“Uh, you know how Sora can sense hearts?”

 

“You have informed me of it, yes.” It was super irritating to know too. Less opportunity to sway him to his side. But it could be beneficial if he could play it right.

 

“Um, well, I may have used the memory of Riku’s heart to get him to come here?” It was phrased like a question, as if she was afraid she was going to be in trouble for helping.

 

“Oh… now that was devious little one. Thank you for the assistance.” He gave her as genuine a smile as he could give and was as close to gratified as he could get ( _ Nobodies don’t have hearts, got it memorized? _ ) when she blushed and smiled back. Fascinating, when did she learn to do that? ( ~~_ Maybe she didn’t need to _ ~~ ). Once more he went back to neutral seriousness and asked, “Are you ready to begin, Naminé?”

“Yes...” Naminé started, but paused, clearly wondering if she should finish her sentence, before shaking her head and continuing, “but something's not right.”

 

Marluxia raised an eyebrow in question. “And what would that be?” If there were any issues, he had to know. It wouldn’t do for something to go wrong and mess everything up. Naminé looked thoughtful and worried in equal measure as she answered.

“It’s very strange. When I look at his memories it’s like standing in a big central room with many branching hallways filled with doors. What’s not normal is that there are whole hallways of doors covered in chains in his heart, blocking off a lot of links in his memory.” She started to look even more worried as she continued, “But something happened to cause the chains on some of the doors to crack and loosen. Things are slipping out and getting tangled in the rest of his memory. It’s going to make changing things, or even just adding things, much more difficult without causing permanent damage.”

“Chained doors ?” Marluxia furrowed his brow, trying to ignore how disturbingly familiar that sounded ( _ he could picture his own mind, garden pathways he could never access, choked with sharp vines, locking away everything he wanted to remember about himself _ ). Why in the worlds would Sora have something like that? “Do you know how long they’ve been there, or what they’re blocking?” She shook her head helplessly.

“I don’t know! Most have been there his whole life as far as I can tell, they look really old, but some of them are newer and don’t really match the rest of the room that much. Any memories that do slip through are too fast and indistinct for me to read, and the ones coming from the odd doors don’t feel like Sora at all!” She looked down at her lap with a frown. “It's like there are more memories than just Sora’s trapped in his head, but I don’t know how that could’ve happened!” Naminé was looking very frustrated now, an impressive feat for a nobody only about a month old. Marluxia patted her head and did not let the trepidation he could have sworn he was feeling echo in his voice.

“It’s alright Naminé. We will just have to be delicate about this. Let me know if anything changes, alright?” She nodded up at him and started to draw again, determined to get to the bottom of this mystery to make sure there was as little damage to Sora’s mind as possible. At the end of the day, Naminé was a kind girl. Marluxia strode out of the room and down the hall, trying to adjust his plans to fit the new information. He would definitely need to be more careful when using the cards Zexion had created  _ somehow _ ( _ completely on accident  _ might he add) that played off of the Castle’s natural mind screwiness, as well as keep a closer eye on the keybearer to make sure nothing…adverse happened. Accidentally breaking him would not help anything, after all.

He would also need to inform the rest of the Castle’s inhabitants of this development, or some of it anyway, he realized with a groan. He  _ did not  _ want to deal with Vexen at the moment. He was still currently acting unbearably smug about No. I’s success, even over two weeks later. The man may be brilliant, but he couldn’t spend more than five minutes in the same room as him before he got the urge to destroy something. And where Vexen was, Zexion and Lexaeus were sure to be close by, so he would still need to deal with the scientist if he went to go tell them. He should definitely try to make an effort to track down Larxene and tell her as soon as possible. He did not need her breaking Sora either. Or maybe he should find Axel first? His potential to mess things up was pretty close to Larxene’s after all...

Before he could reach a decision on who to tell first, he sensed the castle doors opening. Oh well, he could tell them later. Marluxia let a smirk touch his face as he summoned a Dark Corridor.

“Let the opening act begin.” 

 


	2. Aenigma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sora enters the Castle and Marluxia is surprisingly helpful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JESUS FUCKING CHRIST this took forever! Hi guys! So, uh in the six months I haven't posted, I finally got a chance to play Breath of the Wild, started college, finished my first semester of college, lost my mind over the Re:Mind DLC trailers, and procrastinated a whole lot.
> 
> But it's finally done, and I'm not gonna lie, I had a lot of fun reworking Marluxia's character to be less problematic. He's great fun to write.
> 
> Warning, I went back to chapter 1 and added a few things, and switched up some other things. If nothing else, I recommend rereading Marluxia's section, that's where the most significant change was made in my opinion.
> 
> AND GUYS! SOMEONE WROTE A FIC BASED ON MINE!!! Beyond the Door by Blitzwin! Go check it out HERE (https://archiveofourown.org/works/21616798/chapters/51545665 if the link doesn't work) and give them your support! Blitzwin, I'm so honored I was able to inspire you!
> 
> I hope you enjoy! betaed by my best friend, a much better technical writer than I am.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or anything else by Disney and/or Squeenix. KH is Nomura's baby and it shows.

**aenigmă,** ătis, _n.,_ _that which is dark,_ _obscure,_ or _inexplicable; a riddle,_ _enigma,_ _obscurity_

* * *

As soon as Sora shoved open the heavy doors he needed to close his eyes to block the overwhelming brightness spilling out. He stumbled inside a few paces, and once he was sure he wouldn’t be blinded, slowly opened them. And stared. That was a lot of white. _Everything_ , save for the cream-colored doors and some grayish blue detailing on the ceiling and floor, was the same shade of stark white. It was beautiful, in an eerie, clinical sort of way, but Sora couldn’t help but shudder at the distinct _wrongness_ of it. It was… sterile. Empty and cold (nothing like how it was). Being inside was just as awful as he thought it would be. His briefly forgotten exhaustion decided now was a great time to come crashing back into him and he had gotten an itch in the back of his mind as soon as he walked in like he was forgetting something. He walked further in any way, shoulders hunching more with each step, Goofy and Donald both a steady presence at his back, Jiminy a comforting weight near his neck.

 

“Hey guys, do you think this place feels kinda weird?” Goofy asked, looking around the room and scratching his head. He turned a confused gaze onto Donald, “Is it really alright to just walk in?”

 

“The King is here, we hafta do it. Though there is something funny about this place” Donald met Goofy’s look with an annoyed one of his own, turning away to mutter the last bit. Of course, Goofy didn’t hear the last part as he took a much bigger interest in looking around, while Sora himself turned and stared.

 

“The King?! King Mickey’s here? How do ya know?” Goofy exclaimed, looking frantically to see any trace of King Mickey, as if now that he was properly looking he would just pop up behind one of the flower pedestals. Donald looked reluctantly amused with his friend’s antics and crossed his arms.

 

“I just have a feeling he’s here alright?”

 

“Really?” Goofy looked thoughtful as he said, “Now that ya mention it, I’m having that feeling too.”

 

As Sora listened, he tried to ignore the unease churning in his gut (his power let him know where his friends were - it’s why he was the reigning champion of Hide and Seek - _but Donald and Goofy had no such ability_ ) when he attempted to feel out the King, or any unknown heart, only to be met with nothing. 

 

He brought himself back to the conversation when Donald and Goofy turned to look at him, clearly having just asked a question. He smiled sheepishly and brought his hand to the back of his neck.

 

“Sorry guys, what did you say?” Donald looked annoyed again and repeated his question.

 

“I saaaaiiid, do you feel anything Sora?” His stomach was now twisting itself in knots, but before he could open his mouth and say _Sorry even if I did know what the King felt like, I only feel hazy misty Riku and no one else_ Jiminy decided to pop out and add his two cents.

 

“Wait! Hey! Hold on!” Sora startled and nearly dislodged Jiminy from his shoulder, but in his defense, even knowing he was there didn’t stop the surprise when he started talking out of the blue. He made sure to stabilize him and offer an apologetic smile, ignoring the worried frown he got ( _it was hard to hide his nonexistent sleeping habits from Jiminy_ ). The bug quietly sighed and turned back to Donald and Goofy. “Don’t you think there’s something off about this?” he asked. Donald was the first to catch on with a pensive frown.

 

“You don’t mean that…?”

 

“Mhm, yup! I’m feeling the king too. Or what I think the king feels like. So now the question is why can we all suddenly do something that, as far as we know, only Sora has ever been able to do?” Donald and Goofy froze as realization hit them. The knots got replaced with ice. It was a trap. It had to be. Right?

 

“You're right, something's suspicious about this. We gotta go take a look!” Despite saying this, Donald made no move to walk closer to the door at the end of the hall and only looked at him. Sora took a shaky breath and let it out. It was fine. He glanced back to the still-open front door (maybe they could just leave?) and then to the closed ones down the hall.  

 

“Okay.” Slowly, determinately, he started across the hall to the closed doors (shoving the ache that had been constant in this castle deep down) but only made it a few paces before Donald stopped him. 

 

“Waaak! What do you think you're doing?!”

 

“...taking a look?” Sora tilted his head and eyed Donald’s almost worried stance and Goofy’s frown. He must not have been doing as good a job hiding...whatever it is that's been happening to him as well as he’d hoped ( _his friends don’t need to worry_ ). “You _are_ right, something’s weird about this. Because… because I don't feel the King at all!” If it was possible for Donald and Goofy to pale, that’s certainly what they would have done, but Sora continued. “I can only feel Riku! There’s no one else I can sense and even Riku is so damn hazy I might just be imagining it! So something is up and we have to find out what.” Even if it meant going further into the castle. Which he still did _not_ want to do. “Besides, a trap is only a trap if you know about it.”

“Sora’s right you two,” Jiminy added from his spot in Sora’s hood. 

 

“Oh all right, let's go Goofy.” Donald sighed and marched forward, though Goofy stayed in place.

 

“Hey fellas, don't you think we should shut the door?” He asked before turning around and letting out a gasp. “Sora!” Sora and Donald both whirled around to see what the matter was, and Sora sucked in a breath. There, by the door that was closing by itself - not ominous at all -, was Mr. Black Coat, the faint garden that was his heart appearing to his senses as suddenly as the man had appeared.

 

“You again.” Sora whispered, drawing his keyblade into a defensive stance once more ( _it felt a bit shaky_ ) and ignoring Donald’s sharp look and hissed words in his direction (“Again?! What do you mean _again_?!”) even as he and Goofy took out their own weapons. The man said nothing and only slowly started walking forward. 

 

Donald puffed up and waved his staff in indignation. “Not gonna talk? Maybe some magic will help ya there! THUNDER!” He brandished the staff in the man’s direction, but nothing happened. Why was nothing happening? He’d cast a thundaga just last night (the magician had been upset about something Goofy had said as per usual). Evidently thinking the same thing, he looked down at the rod in his hand in confusion and tried again. “C’mon, THUNDER! Blizzard!...Fire?” Still nothing. Now Donald looked frustrated. “Why isn’t it working?”

 

“Unfortunately,” the man opened his mouth for the first time, “the moment you set foot in this castle, you forgot every spell and every ability you ever knew.”

 

“What?!” Sora couldn’t believe this. He frantically scoured his mind only to realize _yes_ he really couldn’t remember anything, other than the basic sword stances Riku taught him years ago (he’d beat them into his head until he couldn’t forget them if he _tried_ ). No wonder his stance felt shaky. Trying to keep from losing his mind for the second time that day, he turned to the others and met their equally dismayed gazes. They couldn’t remember anything either. The man continued. 

 

“In this place to find is to lose, and to lose is to find.” Here, even though he couldn’t see his face, Sora just knew he was smirking ( ~~he always could be a little irritating when he got in the mood to be dramatic~~ ).

 

“That is the way of Castle Oblivion. Believe me when I say this castle can be mighty irritating.” The man held out his hands out in a what-can-you-do gesture and promptly disappeared.

 

“Castle Obliv-Hey wait!” Sora shouted. He needed answers! The garden man (he could tell it was a flower garden now) appeared right behind him _again_.

 

“Let’s move on.” He said blithely. Sora jumped.

 

 “AH! Don’t do that!” The man was smirking again, he could _feel_ it.

 

“My apologies.” He didn’t sound very apologetic, Sora could practically feel the amusement wafting off him, though he let it drop in order to adopt something more serious. “This castle uses your memories against you. They are what will shape your journey through its floors. You will meet people you know and people you miss and only occasionally will they be real. If you don’t keep your wits about you, you will never be able to leave.”

 

Sora could feel the blood drain from his face the more he spoke. There was only one person he missed right now. And when he focused, really focused, on Riku? Well, Riku wasn’t there at all. The hazy twilight scattered and faded to nothing as if to confirm his thoughts. It really had been a trap.

 

The man had gone silent and was just watching him, waiting to get his attention again. Once Sora had focused back on him, he only held out his hand.

 

“What?” Sora asked. What was he planning? He was too tired for this and he knew he wouldn’t be able to fight him off if he decided to attack. As if sensing his thoughts, everything about the man _softened_.

 

“I’m not going to hurt you.” He said gently. Where was this sudden kindness coming from? He had been messing with them not two minutes ago. And yet.

 

Sora believed him.

 

Sora _believed him_ . Somehow he knew the man wasn’t lying ( ~~he wouldn’t hurt him, he wasn’t that kind of person~~ ). So he slowly stepped forward and placed his hand in his. The man brought his other hand over Sora’s own, just as gently as his voice had been, and they started to glow. “What are you gonna do?” he asked, stiffening slightly. 

 

“I am creating something that will let you navigate relatively safely.” He replied calmly. The glow died down, and when Sora took back his hand there was a blue card in the man’s palm. He held it out to him and he cautiously took it.

 

“A card?” It was a strange shape with a picture for Traverse Town on it. The man could probably feel his confusion because he was smiling again (at this point he really should just take off his hood. Sora could feel the emotion from him, trying to cover his face was useless)

 

“Indeed. It was made using a small sampling of your memories. A way for the castle to work without inflicting too much damage.” At this, he moved to stand next to the door at the end of the hall and waved at it. “Proceed Sora. To lose and claim anew, or to claim anew only to lose. Either way, you may find the answers you seek.”

 

Before the man could disappear again (he could sort of feel it now, a fading sensation before it abruptly disappears), and leaving his cryptic statements to unpack later _he didn't need any more stress right now_ ,  “Wait!” Sora called out. The man paused and looked at him, silently telling him to ask his question. “What’s your name?”

 

Surprisingly, the man actually started to laugh. “My my, how rude I’ve been.” He reached up and pulled down his hood, revealing a youthful face framed by long pink hair and blue eyes. Sora froze because _he knows this person_ but _no he really doesn’t why does he feel like he knows him_ ( ~~my friend, what are you _doing_ here? ~~) and he really needed to keep paying attention because flower guy was still talking. 

 

“My name is Marluxia, and I wish you luck Sora.” The newly dubbed Marluxia disappeared again, and Sora plopped onto the ground. 

 

“Sora! Are you okay?” Goofy rushed to his side, hands fluttering everywhere, checking for something wrong, with Donald right behind muttering something about Cure.

 

“I’m... I’m fine guys. Really. Today just makes no sense.” Donald snorted and moved to his other side.

 

“You can say that again. And stop lying Sora, you aren't fine. I’m a medic, I can tell.” Jiminy had moved to Goofy’s shoulder when he had neared, and both of them nodded along with Donald’s words.

 

“Okay, I'm tired and my head hurts, but other than that I really am fine.” Sora stood back up and looked down at the card in his hands. “Let’s just go, guys.”

 

“Well, if you say you’re fine, Sora,” Jiminy said as he hopped back onto Sora’s shoulder. He had that look on his face that said _I clearly don’t believe you and we_ will _be talking about this later but I’ll let it go_ and Sora gulped. Jiminy’s talks always made him feel terrible, and he just hoped there wouldn’t be much time for it. He was _fine_.

 

He walked to the door and had the sudden realization that Marluxia _never actually told him how to use the card_.

 

“What the heck am I supposed to do with this?” he muttered. He held it up to his face and squinted at it.

 

“Maybe try holding it out toward the door?” Jiminy suggested. That… was actually a pretty good idea.

 

“Thanks, Jiminy.” He held the card out and yelped when it dissolved and the door opened. Was this going to be a pattern? He hoped this wouldn’t become a pattern. He didn’t have enough energy to deal with this. He shook his head.

 

“You know what? Whatever.” He looked back at Donald and Goofy. “Come on guys.”

 

“Right behind ya Sora,” Goofy smiled. Sora gave a small smile back and walked into the light of the door. Whether Riku was actually in this messed-up castle or not, he was going to find some answers.

In Marluxia’s most humble opinion, that conversation had gone much better than he thought it would go. And all he had to do was follow Naminé’s advice.

 

(“ _Don’t lie if you can avoid it. Show Sora that you are worth helping. Don’t make your life harder than it has to be.”_ )

 

Really, it was quite sensible advice. And she _was_ the resident Sora expert. If she said doing it this way would be easier, it was no skin off his nose. It wasn’t very difficult to follow advice either. The boy had looked dead on his feet, dark shadows staining his pale face. He hadn’t been immediately hostile either, just wary. The sight had sparked some instinct inside him that he hadn’t known was there ( ~~_it was his job to take care of them_ ~~), so Marluxia did the decent thing and cut him some slack. His theatrics had been toned down (though not all the way), and his advice had clearly been heard and appreciated (even if the boy had paled even more hearing it). He had even asked for his name.

 

Sora’s face when he revealed his own, though. That had been interesting. Marluxia could have sworn he saw some recognition in his eyes, confused though it was, and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he had never met Sora in his entire life. So why had Sora looked like he knew him, if only for a moment? Something to ponder, he supposed, when the action died down and nothing important was happening.

 

He brought himself out of his thoughts when he sensed Sora finally entering the World Card. He did have to hand it to Zexion and Naminé. The card had worked flawlessly, and, just as promised, his gentler approach seems to have done no damage.

 

Time to assess.

 

He opened up a Corridor and slipped inside the world, grumbling when the system Zexion built into the cards took effect.

 

(“ _I made a whole new way of fighting based on cards inside this thing. Seemed appropriate.”_

 

_“...why?”_

 

_“Why not? It’ll keep things interesting!”_

_It was times like these where he questioned why exactly he liked Zexion_ )

 

At least he’d had a few days to get used to it. Not like he’d actually be doing any fighting in these things, thank Kingdom Hearts.

 

Stepping into the memory of Traverse Town, Marluxia spotted Sora ahead of him looking around and heard him say softly, “It really does look like Traverse Town.” Then the boy turned around and asked, “Is this what you meant?”

 

Ah, yes, Sora’s little superpower. It seems Marluxia will have to step up his game if he wants to keep surprising him. He always liked a good challenge. ( ~~ _"_~~ ~~_One of these days I will beat you at one of these things, mark my words flower boy” “Bring it on blondie.”_ ~~)

 

He let a smile cross his face as he answered, “Yes, this is exactly what I meant. Obviously, you are not in the real Traverse Town, but the castle has made as exact a copy as it can. A mere illusion built with the memories embedded in the card.” Zexion really was very good at his job after all. Sora looked as if he was about to ask something else, when the cricket, Jiminy, hopped down in front of Sora.

 

“Wait one minute, Sora! Where are Donald and Goofy?” he asked. Sora’s eyes widened with the beginnings of panic as he frantically looking around.

 

“Donald? Goofy?” he called, panic building on his face when there was no response. He turned back to him, and Marluxia was suddenly _very_ uncomfortable (putting aside that impossibility for _later_ ) because Sora looked like he was about to cry. “What happened to them?”

 

Marluxia had no memory of comforting people, but it was like second nature to crouch down and hold out his hands in a calming gesture. To soften his face and his words so as not to cause further distress. “Your friends are alright. It’s just a feature of the Cards I forgot to warn you about. Even I forgot about it. I’m sorry.”

 

Sora looked thrown at the apology, but he _had_ calmed down, so he counted it as a win. Sora sniffled and asked, “So where did they go?” Marluxia stood back up and walked a small distance away. Time to explain the utter nonsense that was Zexion’s creation.

 

“While you traverse the World Cards, you will also be forced to fight with the Cards. Your friends have become a part of that system. As you fight, their Cards will appear, allowing you to add their strength to yours for a time. They should return in specific rooms, as well as once you leave the world.”

 

“...Why?” Sora asked, utterly baffled. He laughed.

 

“When I asked that very same question, the person who created the cards said, and I quote, ‘Why not’.” Now the boy looked annoyed, tears long-forgotten thank the heavens.

 

“That’s dumb.” Marluxia laughed again. How delightful.

 

“I’ll make sure to tell him that. I rarely spend time inside these card worlds; I have my own way to travel the castle that makes them unnecessary, so I’m afraid my own words of complaint have fallen upon deaf ears.”

 

“You mean those portal things?” Sora asked, tilting his head.

 

“Exactly. And no, they aren’t something you can use I’m afraid,” he added when he saw Sora about to open his mouth. He pouted and asked a different question.

 

“So how do these cards work?”

 

He smirked. “Let me show you.” And so it went, Marluxia explaining the mechanics of the ridiculous system, demonstrating how to use the cards to attack, the different types, and how to call them back when they ran out. The whole time he marveled at how quickly Sora had warmed up to him. Not once was he afraid Marluxia would attack him or lie about something. It was almost alarming, though he supposed that was a good thing for him and his goals. It was quite fun watching the boy’s expression as he explained, going from wary curiosity to frustrated annoyance. He wasn’t having too much trouble with it, all things considered.

 

When he had finished, Sora was giving the attack card in his hand a truly impressive glare and said, “So it’s basically medals, but worse.”

 

“Exactly!” What a nice explanation. 

 

Wait a minute. Why was that familiar? What were medals? “Come again?” 

 

Sora startled at his question and looked very confused about what had just come from his mouth. “Huh? I don’t...why did I say that?” Hmm, maybe he would have to check for damage with Naminé after all.

 

“No matter. Your friends are coming.” Sora snapped his head around and let out a cry when he saw his friends coming up behind him. A perfect distraction from whatever had just occurred, and the fact Marluxia had responded as if he knew what he was talking about when _he didn’t_.

 

“Donald! Goofy! Thank goodness you guys are alright!”

 

“What happened Sora? We followed you through the door, there was a bright light, then nothing!” The duck, Donald, shouted. The dog nodded along, and Jiminy popped out from Sora’s hood with a look of dismay.

 

“Well, that’s no good! How am I supposed to keep my journal up to date?” Sora turned back to Marluxia.

 

“Is this supposed to happen?”

 

“I can only assume so. Due to the nature of the system, you walk alone. It makes sense that your friends would not remember so that they would not be able to help.” The two companions seemed to take great issue with that statement; Donald had puffed up and looked ready to start swinging, while Goofy looked two seconds away from grabbing Sora and making a break for it.

 

“Alone?! We can’t let Sora go alone!” Goofy exclaimed.

 

“Yeah! Who’s gonna watch his back?” Donald added. Ah, there was yet another thing he forgot to mention.

 

“You will still be able to assist in a fight as long as Sora calls you, and there will be some rooms where you will be allowed to roam with him.” He turned to the boy himself and continued, “For all that this world looks real, you are still inside a castle with a set amount of accessible rooms on each floor. Once you clear out a room, no more enemies will appear until you reform it. You will be as safe as you can be once you clear them out, so no need to worry about that.”

 

Donald and Goofy settled down some at his words, and even Sora looked less apprehensive. It didn’t stop Goofy from turning to Sora and asking, “Are you sure you’ll be alright Sora?” The boy looked back and smiled, though it seemed a touch strained.

 

“I’ll be alright. And besides, you heard what he said. You’ll still have some chances to see me. I’ll figure it out.” He looked Marluxia in the eyes and simply said, “Thank you, Marluxia.”

 

He froze in shock, completely unprepared for those three words. Sora looked utterly sincere with his gratitude. Marluxia never expected him to _thank_ him for being a decent person. “...Your welcome, Sora.” He blinked and pulled himself together, “The rest of Castle Oblivion awaits you. Once again, I wish you luck.” Once he got a nod of acknowledgment, Marluxia summoned a Corridor and left, coming out in Naminé’s room. As per usual, the girl wasn’t actually there. Typical.

 

He walked out of the room and toward the Observation room, intent on asking about any damage Sora might have taken. He ignored all the emotions he wasn’t actually feeling, because Nobodies didn’t have hearts to feel with. 

 

His chest ached. 

 

Maybe he should take a nap after speaking with Naminé. Sora would be in Traverse Town for a while after all. The boy could use some sleep.

* * *

 _This place sucked_ is what Sora was intimately learning about Castle Oblivion. And that he wanted to strangle whoever invented these cards. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been (he wasn’t fighting any battle instinct seeing as he _forgot it all somehow_ ) but it was still supremely annoying.

 

Meeting Leon and the others again had been an experience. Sora already knew none of them were real ( _they felt like mist, all of them_ ), but seeing them again only to for none of them remember him right hurt more than he wanted to admit. Donald and Goofy’s absence hurt almost as much. It was much harder fighting alone than he thought, but it didn’t feel new, so Sora shrugged it off.

 

He’s so glad he wasn’t going into this blind. That would have been a nightmare. He really needed to thank Marluxia again. He had looked so surprised when he did it the first time, like he wasn’t expecting him to be grateful for the _life-saving advice he was giving out for free_. He wondered why Marluxia was here. It seemed like he had a somewhat bitter experience with the castle already. Was he looking for something too? Maybe he should ask him the next time he saw him.

 

He had spent the past few hours clearing out heartless infested rooms and relearning moves he used to be able to do once they were empty. It was slow, and he didn’t think he was relearning things right ( _how do you explain holding the keyblade backward and it not feeling wrong?_ ) but he was improving again and that’s what mattered. Even more importantly, he felt exhausted enough to actually sleep for once. 

 

He finished up the fight he was in and sighed when the final heartless dissolved. He was getting the hang of the cards, thank the stars. It was just going to get more difficult from here, so the more practice he got the better. He made his way to where the final door was for this world and found a corner to curl up in. He just knew there would be a big fight ahead and he needed to sleep. 

 

Unfortunately, Jiminy decided now was the time to have that talk he had promised.

 

“Now Sora, I think we need to have a little chat about your habits lately.” Sora groaned.

 

“Jiminy, can we do this later? I’m beyond tired.” Oh man, shouldn’t have said that. Now Jiminy looked determined.

 

“You see, that’s exactly what I wanted to talk about. Sora, how long has it been since you’ve had a good night’s sleep. And no lying now, you lie enough you’ll get trapped in a web of it and never get back out.” There went his feeble hope of avoiding this. He mumbled an answer into his knees. “I didn’t catch that Sora.”

 

“I said I don’t know! Since Hollow Bastion? Since Ansem? Since the first time my keyblade felt wrong in my hands?” He was breathing hard and felt like crying again, but ended with a whisper, “I… I don’t know.” Jiminy looked sad.

 

“Why didn’t you tell us you were having problems?” he asked softly. Sora sniffled.

 

“I didn’t want you guys to worry so much. None of us were sleeping well for a while, I didn’t want to make a big deal about how I just never stopped having trouble.” Jiminy just gave him a look. Like he understood but wished it wasn’t that way.

 

“Oh, Sora,” Jiminy sighed, laying his hand on Sora’s cheek, “It’s okay not to be okay after what you went through, after what we all went through. But you have to let us know, or we’re just gonna worry even more. We nearly lost you. And if you don’t tell us what’s happening, we’re afraid we’ll lose you for real.”

 

Now Sora felt even worse, a few tears slipping down his cheeks. He hadn’t thought about it like that. “I’m sorry Jiminy.”

 

“Oh, it’s alright Sora. Now you know so you can start fixing it,” Jiminy said, hopping down from his shoulder. “You get some rest now, and when we see Donald and Goofy again, we can take some time to have a real discussion.” That didn’t sound very fun, but Sora’s head was already drooping at the thought of sleep, so he just mumbled assent and left it at that.

 

“Night Jiminy.”

 

“Good night Sora.” he laid his head down on his jacket and fell asleep faster than he had in a while.

* * *

_The land was barren. What once was sprawling meadows was nothing more than cracked earth and dead keyblades._

 

_Why did they have to meet where it all ended?_

 

_The white-haired boy and the golden-eyed girl were whispering to each other and looked really sad about something, the girl’s eyes puffy from tears long since shed._

 

_The boy in the hat stood off to the side alone, awkward. Not used to comforting people._

 

_Where was the last one?_

 

_There, jogging toward them, short pink hair, blue eyes lined with stress marks. He also looked like he’d been crying. He couldn’t blame him, any of them._

 

_“Sorry to keep you all waiting, I was caught up with some things.” The boy and girl from before looked over and seemed relieved, and pinky’s stance loosened when he saw them. Did they know each other too?_

 

_“My name is---”_

* * *

Naminé blinked when she heard the sound of chains rattling and looked down at the picture she had just drawn in confusion, then shock.

 

“Oh no.”

* * *

Sora bolted awake, gasping for breath. What? What was that?! Who were those people? Had that been…? Wait…

 

What had he dreamed about?

 

“Sora!” He jumped when Jiminy’s worried face appeared in front of him. “Are you alright? What happened?” Sora scrubbed a hand down his face.

 

“It was no-” he paused, remembering what they had been talking about before he fell asleep, “...it was a nightmare. But I can’t remember what happened. I just had it, why can’t I remember?!” He exclaimed in frustration. Jiminy looked thoughtful.

 

“Well, sometimes it’s better to leave the scary dreams alone. No use worrying about it. Most dreams aren’t remembered anyway.”

 

Sora didn’t know what he thought about that but, “If you say so, Jiminy.” He got up from his sleeping spot and rubbed out all the sore bits from sleeping on the ground with practiced movements.

 

“Okay, time to see what’s behind this door.” Hopefully, it wouldn’t be anything too time-consuming, he had no idea how long he had slept.

* * *

It had just been Guard Armor again. Annoying, but at the state he was in right now, nothing too overly challenging. And he got to see Donald and Goofy for a small bit before leaving the room, which was nice. They’d talk more later.

 

What was really bothering him was Illusion-Aerith’s warning.

 

“ _Beware your memories, Sora._ ”

 

That didn’t inspire much confidence in him. Was something wrong with his memory, aside from the obvious? And even if there was, was it even something he could fix?

 

He got the feeling that the answer was no.

 

He sighed. He wasn’t gonna get anywhere thinking about this anymore. He walked up to the door that would lead out of the world and back into the castle proper. Time to see what waited on the other side.

 

He hoped he saw Marluxia again. He was nice.

 

( _"_ _~~My name is Lauriam. It’s nice to meet you.”~~ _)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Done! Get ready for a whole lot more "Huh?"s and "Wait, why did I say that?"s from here on out. It's only going to go downhill from here.
> 
> More Organization members are going to be introduced in the coming chapters and I'm so excited. I don't know when the next chapter will come out, unfortunately, but I'm feeling inspired lately so hopefully y'all won't have to wait another six months for chapter 3.
> 
> Also, I changed the card system just a bit because like hell am I gonna try writing fight scenes with them. Now the cards only appear inside the World Cards, and what do ya know, I have no plans of writing anything related to fighting in them.
> 
> Don't be afraid to leave your thoughts and ideas in the comments, I read and respond to every one I get as soon as I see it (usually within an hour or two unless I'm asleep at the time). Just please don't be mean about it?
> 
> See you all next chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> So, how was it? Good, bad, too much, too little, let me know! If you have any questions or helpful criticisms for me, leave a comment down below and I'll do my best to answer/address them. All I ask is that you please be kind about them? "Your fic sucks!", while probably accurate to some, is not helpful in trying to make it not suck and will only make me sad.
> 
> I'll try to keep to a bi-monthly update schedule as much as possible, but my motivation is a flighty bitch along with my muse and they love taking long vacations together. I've appropriately added the Slow to update tag to warn y'all of that issue.
> 
> That's all I have for you guys right now, but I'll hopefully see you next time!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Beyond the Door](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21616798) by [Blitzwin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blitzwin/pseuds/Blitzwin)




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